Rehab
by jehkovac
Summary: Well it takes place on season 13 after Abby tells Luka about her drinking problems. It's going to take place on the rehab facility. It's a Luby Fanfiction. Hope you enjoy it
1. Chapter 1

The image of Luka's hand sliding down the car window and his sight of sadness were still on her mind while she stayed outside that door wondering if she would go in or not. What stopped her on her tracks was the fear she felt. She wasn't afraid of the physical and mental consequences that the recovery program brings, but what scared the hell out of her was the feeling of loss. What if she couldn't finish the program? What if after passing through all these steps, she relapsed again? What if she wasn't strong enough? She had just proved her weakness when she started drinking again, even though doing it she was putting her son and her married on jeopardy.

"Can't we do it together?" She remembered Luka's words after she told him about her problems. After everything he had been through on his life he didn't deserve what she did to him. She had to do this for him. Despite he was far from her, he made it clear that he would support her.

The uncertainty hurt more than anything. She had told him about the drinking problems, but she chickened out about the consequences, about the Morreti thing. Was he going to forgive her? Did she even deserve that? Yet he was the most important thing for her, - a good father, a loyal and lovely husband – she screwed everything up again. How would he forgive her betrayal if herself couldn't?

She couldn't lose him…just couldn't. The little time she had been away from him was hard enough, she couldn't imagine living without him. He was like the air she breathed, the water she drank, he was her everything.

"I carry your heart; I carry it in my heart." This was her vows. She would never have pictured herself saying these words. She wasn't a romantic person. Abby Wyczenski would never say those three words: I love you. The only man that she had told it was the man she hurt. She really loved him. She loved him with her entire heart and soul. It was now that she saw she should have said it more frequently.

She would do it for him, for her, for their son. What would happen later she didn't know, but she couldn't give up now, not of him anyway.

Her journey started now. She had to be strong for them and she would. She would face everything for them even herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the second part.

Enjoy it.

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One more day waking up on this strange room that I can't get used to. I put my hand on my about to explode head. I look at the clock by my side and it's still 5 a.m. I get up and go to the bathroom. In the mirror I see the reflection of a pathetic woman. The hair all messed up, the brown and sad eyes above a black lake and an expression of fear. The need for a drink growing stronger with everyday day, every second, making the woman in front of me even more scared. It's kind of sad when this person is yourself and you don't have a clue of what to do about it. Why fix something that you believe you'll break again?

I wash my face and go back into the room. I look at my backpack and see the notebook tip. I grab it and decide to write, maybe it'll get me distracted enough to not feel this terrible headache.

"Everyday that passes is a challenge I overcame. It's my third day here and the physical and emotional effects of abstinence are getting worse. I need a drink very badly. In my mind I see your look of disappointment and hurt and the shame comes all over again. I fear not finishing the program, but when I think of losing you I get even more scared and this gives me strength to keep going.

My head is about to explode and this thirsty I feel is almost unbearable. I wish I could sleep to forget about this pain. I wish I could sleep to dream about you, about our family..."

I get up and run to the bathroom, where I put the contents of my stomach out. I try to stand, but everything is spinning and the bells in my head are ringing even louder. I close my eyes and rest my head on the cold wall.

I open my eyes and I'm no longer in the bathroom. I put my hand on my still aching head and touch a wet cloth on my forehead. I get it out and sit on the bed; at least the spinning had stopped.

"Hey, you woke up." I turn my head fast in the direction of the voice. There was a man coming into the room and sitting on my bed. He puts his hand on my forehead and I instinctively get away from his touch. "I'm sorry I forgot to introduce me. I name is Bernard and I'm your new room mate." He stands up and goes to the bed beside mine. "I see your fever is down, that's good." He says while looking for something on his backpack.

"What happened?" I ask him not quite sure how I got back in my bed.

"I got in here and you were shivering on the bathroom floor. I put you on bed and asked the nurse for a medicine to get your fever down." He finally got what he was looking for on the backpack and hand it to me. "This is my transference papers. I'm an alcoholic and I'm here to help you and myself." He stands and gets some water for me.

"Thanks." I drink the water and let the glass and the paper beside my notebook that is now on my nightstand.

"To who were you writing? I didn't ready, I just saw the notebook."

"Actually I… I won't send it to anybody. I just wanted a distraction." I put my hand on my head and I sigh. Of course it was for Luka, but I couldn't send to him. He had already seen my weakness and I didn't want him to see it again. I was ashamed. He was on his father's funeral. He bared his wife, his children and now his father. I was selfish, he was taking care of his dying father and what was I doing? I was feeling pity of myself because I was alone. I was drinking to forget about my pain, my fear, but what about him? What was his comfort while he watched his weakening father? And now? Who is going to comfort him while I'm fighting with myself?

I did want to help him. I do want to help him, but the way I'm now I'll just probably hurt him more. I'm a messy, I have always been, but before it was just me. Now everything I do affect these two. The two most important people in the world for me. It's for them that I have to complete this.

"You should write to him." I look at him oddly. How does he know? "When I was putting you on the bed you were saying: 'Luka, please forgive me. I know I behaved like a bit**.' Well, the second part I made it up, but I know that this is how you feel." I look down knowing that he's right, I feel like a selfish bit**. "Before I realized I needed help I lost my job, my girlfriend and my family. I just lost the control, you know." He smiles lightly. "Look, it's 7:30, how about we go for a walk, and then you can talk about what happened." I nod my head and go to the bathroom change so we can go out.


End file.
